Alec's Letter
by Aria94
Summary: Alec prepared an early birthday present for Kaylee. Will it bring her closure for what happened or sadness and guilt? *Contains Before I Wake spoilers*


ATTENTION! THIS FIC CONTAINS BEFORE I WAKE SPOILERS! PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS FIC OR THE AUTHOR NOTES IF YOU HAVE NOT READ BEFORE I WAKE! FOR THE REST OF YOU WHO DON'T MIND SPOILERS OR HAVE READ THE BOOK, PLEASE CONTINUE…

A/N: Hi guys! So I've finished reading all the Soul Screamers book and I gotta say, this series is the most epic series of books I have ever read! But I was seriously unsatisfied with how Alec died so I wrote this scene just to give him a sort of a proper send-off or closure for Kaylee. So I hope you enjoy this fic and please review!

_I killed him… I can't believe I killed him…_

Those were the only words going through my head when I was trying to clean the Alec's – my friend and only brother – blood off my hands. I tried to hold back the tears that threatened to escape like a dam has been broken in there but I could not get the image of Alec's eyes looking up at me in confusion, his ragged breathing and finally his eyes staring up at nothing out of my head.

He did not deserve to go like this. He deserved better than to be murdered by his own friend and he deserved to live a life of his own where it does not involve hellions or the Netherworld or me…

I was like a plague, infecting everyone until they die a horrible painful death by my hands. And why not? Alec was not the first one I've managed to kill with my carelessness and lack of thinking things through carefully. I should be the one to die not Alec. I couldn't tell between my friend and brother and the hellion possessing him.

In the end, I gave up trying to wash off the blood of my shirt and jeans and just go straight into showering the blood off my skin.

I filled the bathtub with water and went into the water. I started using the guy-shampoo & guy-body wash Tod gave me earlier. I lathered my hair in autopilot not even realizing I'm even doing it. I heard footsteps outside the bathroom, Tod must be back already from doing God knows what to Alec's body.

25 minutes later…

I stepped out of the bathroom wearing the clean clothes Tod has brought me and I was busy drying my hair when suddenly Tod wrapped me in his arms. I felt safe in his arms and for a second I nearly forgot that Alec was dead.

"Are you ok?" Tod said while rubbing my back.

"No… Where have you been?"

"I uh… I spent two hours cleaning up Alec's apartment."

"Cleaned up his apartment?" A sick feeling bubbled deep in my stomach. "What are you talking about?"

"I meant that I made his apartment looked like it had been robbed and I buried the dog so that it doesn't trace back to you."

It took all of the self-control that I had to not argue back because at the back of my mind, I know that Tod is doing this to protect me. He will always do things like this just to keep me safe. I nodded and I buried my face in my hands trying to comprehend the situation.

"Kaylee? While I was cleaning up, I found this is his bedroom."

I looked up and I saw Tod carrying a big scrapbook from his bed and gave it to me. I felt the letterings of the scrapbook and tears blurred my vision.

_Happy Birthday Kaylee. _That's what it wrote at the front page. He prepared my birthday present in advance and now he's not alive to give it to me personally.

"I think he would want you to have it."

I nodded and I hugged Tod with all I had for saving this one thing of Alec. To help me remember him by.

"Thank you Tod. So much."

"Anything for you Kaylee. Do you want me to give you some privacy?"

"No! I can't do this alone. Stay with me."

"Alright."

Both of us sat down on the edge of his bed and I once again felt the gold letterings beneath my fingers. I took one deep breath and I opened the book.

The first page, there were two pictures.

The first picture was of us eating Phish food ice-cream. I remembered that night. Alec had just been rescued for one week from the Netherworld and he was overwhelmed with all the things that he missed out. So I introduced Ben & Jerry's ice cream to him first. We were watching movie reruns and I also took the time to introduce to him the camera in my phone. I took this photo of us that night. Below the picture there's a caption.

"_Who knew fish could be made into ice cream?"_

I laughed a little at the caption. Because Alec was born in the 80s, he takes everything so literally.

The second picture was when we were at Starbucks. During his time, Starbucks was different. It was just starting out and it was a small shop. The picture was of me drinking a cup of coffee. I didn't know he took a picture and at that moment I regretted letting him have my phone to take all these pictures. The caption below read

"_You pay $10 for a cup of coffee now?" _

I shook my head at his exaggerated captions. It is so like Alec to be amazed at everything. I flipped to the second page and there was one picture. It was a picture of Alec & me with party hats and a cake in front of us. We were celebrating Alec's 40th birthday. That day itself was a joke. When we bought the cake, the woman asked whose 40th birthday are we celebrating and I pointed to Alec who on the outside appears to be a hot young 19 year old. She laughed but we could tell she was weirded out by us. Actually Alec hasn't reached 40 just yet but I just love to get a dig out of his age.

"_I'm 40 this year… Hooray…" _

I could hear the sarcasm dripping heavily from the words. Soon I started flipping through the pages. The pictures of Alec & Me & Emma started blurring together and all I could see in those pictures is the fact that Alec would not be taking any more pictures with me or Emma or anyone else anymore. Just when I was about to close the book, I flipped to the last page and I saw a letter pasted on the last page of the scrapbook. It was written in Alec's neat orderly handwriting. As soon as I read the first line, I knew that I didn't want to read it because the guilt I felt was devastating. But I knew that I deserve to feel this way.

_Dear Kaylee,_

_I didn't deserve to be rescued from the Netherworld, I knew that. So when you actually came back to rescue me the second time you crossed over, words couldn't describe how happy I was that someone actually wanted to rescue me. When my feet touched the ground, I knew that I would spend my whole life to repay what you've done for me. But you don't know how much you've helped me instead of the other way around. I'll admit the first few weeks back on the human world, it was hard and sometimes I felt like I never should have come back but you & your father made me feel like I belong in this world that has evolved without me. You've also given me a family to love when I lost mine. You were like the sister I never had and your father I once had. You've been through a lot this year Kaylee and no one deserves to have a better life than you do so take this one day and just go out and enjoy. Forget about Avari & his hellions, today is your day Kaylee! _

_Have a very Happy Birthday Kaylee… I love you (as a brother)_

_Alec_

I felt the letterings beneath my fingers and realized they're really deep. He must've had a hard time to write this letter. Alec's not the type to reveal his feelings so easily. A tear dropped on the letter and only then I realized I was crying.

"I love you too Alec…"

I held the scrapbook close to my heart and cried for the brother I had lost.

A/N: BTW should I write another chapter about Alec's funeral perhaps? If so please state in your reviews. And I think I have an idea for another Alec centric fic which is mainly about Alec trying to learn how to use modern technology and stuff people in the 80s don't know about. Should I write it? If so please state in your reviews. Ok so I know it's very random with the scrapbook thing and the pictures but I hope you like it! I know the characters are a bit OOC but I tried my best. So hope you guys liked it and please review!


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